So I had my surgery yesterday. I’m feeling okay for a girl with a two inch cut across the the bottom of her neck, and I’m home from the hospital, wearing clothes and everything. Hospital gowns have their place, but I was glad to put on some pants. I am also happy to report that I can eat again! More or less. Let me tell you, chicken broth never tasted so good as it did last night. Since I experienced zero anesthesia related nausea, they gave me a cheddar cheese omelette and oat bran for breakfast! Chad is currently taking the day off and running around in the cold getting me things like my percocet prescription and chicken noodle soup from Whole Foods.
Unfortunately, the surgery was not a resounding success because my problematic parathyroid is a ninja. It’s hiding somewhere in my body, possibly in my chest. Since Dr. Purkert was not going to go poking around in my chest looking for it when he had no idea where to start, they closed me up after 2 and a half hours of looking and sent me to recovery.
Dr. Purkert is going to work with my endocrinologist (Dr. Nina Selvaggi) and the nuclear imaging and radiology people on locating the ninja. I’ll probably get another scan before I leave for Israel, but there won’t be any additional talk of surgery until they find the Ninja Parathyroid. He is probably very well trained and very good at hiding in plain sight. Just like me. What’s that? You doubt my ninja powers. Then tell me this, can you see me NOW? No, I didn’t think so - and since it’s been more than 12 hours since my last vanilla ice cream and percocet sundae, you can’t say that this is ‘the drugs’ talking.
Anyway, I’ve got a kind of creepy looking wound that is all bound up with this clear sealant, so you can SEE the CUT. It looks like I went to a Halloween store and bought some fake wound stuff, except it’s real, and kinda cool looking. I am not allowed to drive until I can move my head freely (which I currently cannot), and I cannot drive when I’m on painkillers (which I will be back on once Chad gets home with them). I will very likely be useless on Saturday for the move, but we’ll see. Now I think I’ll go watch some anime. Hooray!
Categories: parathyroid, updates
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